Dracula’s Green Success Story

An eerie mist fills the hallways of The Climate People recruitment office.

It’s October 31st. Lightning bolts crash outside the office window. A dark cloud covers the daylight, while creatures – was that a bat?! – fly menacingly in the hallways…

The interview with Dracula is in progress.

The Count shifts in his seat, focusing his attention on the throbbing vein in the neck of the interviewer.

“I must repress the urge!,” he thinks to himself, while his deep and mysterious voice describes previous roles and key puncture, er, performance indicators.

The interviewer moves on to the ‘tell me about yourself’ questions. “Excluding mirrors, of course, where do you see yourself in five years?

The Count’s fangs gleam in the sudden moonlight.

“How perfectly ghoulish of you to ask. I’ve come to this interview with a thirst for a life force of a different sort. For you see, I vish to no longer exclude mirrors. I vish to look upon my own countenance and no longer be repelled…

“Vhich is to say – I vant to be able to look at myself in the mirror! Ahahahah!”

Lightning bolts crash in the distance. The Count continues.

“For eons I have labored in pursuit of my own gratification by consuming, consuming, the life blood of this planet. I have drunk the oily elixir and caused gases to permeate the air such that as a consequence even I suffer. Did I tell you my castle in Transylvania was destroyed in a hurricane?!

“And I have been racked, racked I say! With guilt at the damage to the world that I have caused. My insatiable thirst and the hunger of others like me have wrecked the planet.”

The Count lifts his cape and tucks his face beneath his cowl…“Oh the shame. I can not look at myself in the mirror…”

Once more, a lighting bolt crashes. The Count whips the cowl off and peers piercingly into the eyes of the mesmerized interviewer.

“Vhich is vhy you vill give me the chance to nourish myself and the world and the netherworld with energy of a better source. With clean energy. Geothermal energy. Vind energy. Yes! Even solar energy – (but on my off days, you understand of course).

“YOU VILL GIVE ME A CLIMATE JOB TODAY!”

The mesmerized interviewer nods her head. “Yesssss,” she mutters, in a trance. ” I will give you a climate job today.”

The Count suddenly stands. Lightning crashes.

The interviewer glances toward the window at the lightning. In that instant a whoosh of air flows through and out of the room, followed only by the sound of flapping wings, and a deep voice echoing off the walls.

“Yes, I vill vork a climate job ahahahahaha!”